So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
