I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
