What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
