Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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