Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
