Pappa wants mamma naked
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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