I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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