Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
