You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
