Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
