Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
