I need help removing her.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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