I think scott just propositioned me for sex
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
