is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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