he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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