wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I love having hate sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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