wakey wakey hands off snakey
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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