She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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