i just had sex bonerless
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
