she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
