I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
