I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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