Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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