Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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