remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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