Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
