Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
