i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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