Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
