At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
