we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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