Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
