dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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