i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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