it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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