I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
