shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
