Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
