I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
