Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
