My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
