I got chris browned last night
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
