I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
