Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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