aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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