I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
