Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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