You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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