hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
