Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
