I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My life is pants optional.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize