The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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