My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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