Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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