Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
