i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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