i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
