As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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