Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
