but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
