Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
